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The June Critique Challenge

Journal Entry: Tue Jun 3, 2014, 1:02 PM

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Logo designed by *007Balel
"A non-judgemental, safe place where writers can submit poetry, prose, prosetry, phoetry, or anything they have written, without fear of prejudice or criticism."

Our Form Challenge Winner


Check out her winning entry on our front page!


Name of Image

Name of Image
Name of Image

Name of Image

How it Works

:bulletred: Sign up via note to MagicalJoey - NB: Signing up is a binding contract to enter.
:bulletorange: Write a short (no more that 100 lines, no less than three) poem on any topic you choose - NB: Writing a poem means you agree to critique someone elses.
:bulletyellow: Submit the poem to the Critique Challenge 2014 folder.
:bulletgreen: MagicalJoey will put your poem into a list.
:bulletblue: After the allotted entry time poems will be assigned to each entrant to critique.
:bulletpurple: You critique the poem assigned to you and note MagicalJoey when done.
:bulletpink: You enjoy the feeling of giving to others and receiving something yourself.

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:bulletred: Only one entry per person.
:bulletorange: Mature content allowed as long as an appropriate filter is used.
:bulletyellow: Signing up means participation.
:bulletgreen: Writing a piece is a contract to critique a piece.
:bulletblue: Please submit to the correct folder or entries won't be counted.
:bulletpurple: Any questions, ask.

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Time Frame

:bulletpink: 1 June - 20 June -:- Submission Time
:bulletred: 21  June - 30 June -:- Critique Time

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Ask them here, or via note.


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More Journal Entries

Forthcoming Attractions

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A teaser of what's to come.
Formal blogs will be created explaining everything closer to the time.

Critique Folder

:bulletred: This has changed to a critique group GrammarNaziCritiques I encourage you to join if you want your work critiqued.

Monthly Prompts

:bulletpurple: Prompts on all sorts of topics and styles of poetry to help you expand your skills and abilities

Random from Favourites

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Logo designed by 007Balel

There is only one rule: You cannot suggest a fave of your own work.

Contest Entries

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Logo designed by 007Balel
Name of Image


Name of Image
Logo designed by 007Balel
Up to four works of an artist selected weekly by the admins.

Name of ImageName of ImageName of Image

This week's feature is:

The featured works are:
The Storm AwakesIncendiary arcs illuminate the dark folds
Of the ominous and brooding clouds
Which have blotted out the Sun.
Sheets of rain fall, like so many shards of broken glass.
The wind tears at the sea, rips the branches
From the shattered trees
The hair on one's arms and neck is raised;
Stands at attention - a sense of danger pervades.
Thunder roars across the landscape
And one must suppress the urge to run for shelter.
The ground shakes as the energy discharges
Instinct takes over, and one finds oneself inside - safe.
The windows rattle in their frames
And the storm has come to bear.
ExistenceDeprived of one's senses,
In the dark,
No movement, nor wind,
Nor smell, nor taste.
Perception aborted.
Reaching out, finding nothing.
Is it not a terror beyond reckoning?
A sense of reason is useless
- Even, perhaps, cruel -
In the absence of the senses.
(Could emotion even exist?)
Even pain, feared as it is
Is infinitely preferable
To the void of unfeeling darkness
That barren Existence.

Lonely HeartWhen you're alone.
No one to talk too.
No one to tell you
what you need to hear.
No one to stop you from going back,
to thinking about the most important things,
Your fears; your most profound and powerful emotions;
your hopes and dreams.
You lose yourself.
And there's no one to find you.
No one.
No one at all.
What do you do?
Candles in the Night SkyFlames alight in the endless dark,
Fireflies a-buzzing in their dance,
A whisper carried on the subtle breeze...
"Take the chance."
The sky is torn asunder,
Lightning, cloud, and deafening thunder,
A shout rings through the strife,
"It is time to live your life!"
Rain assaults the fragile Earth,
One small life begins to ponder,
A Dreamer's voice, filled with mirth,
"Life is full of wonder!"
The Sun drifts away, begins to slowly set,
Clouds disperse and float on languid winds,
A meek man speaks his cacophonous mind,
"Humanity's potential, never to be met!"
The Candles in the Night Sky
Have all gone away now
Their bodies cold where they lie
We grieve for the loss of beauty.
For we will cry, together, aloud:
"We will die
For lack of Unity."

Your Contest Winners

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Name of Image
Clicking on the footers will take you to the winner's profile.

Name of Image
Name of Image Five MinutesFive Minutes
“Five more minutes,” I would have said.
“Give me five more minutes with him.”
I never got my five minutes;
You died while I slept,
Seeping from me like
A pus-infected wound leaks nastiness.
Only you were goodness
And light
And my love.
What would I have told you
Should those five minutes be a reality?
Would I have told you
You were loved,
As I have done since then.
Would I have told you
You were precious,
As I have done since then.
Would I have told you
You were a miracle,
As I have done since then.
I have come to realize that,
With you,
My five minutes would not have mattered…
I have had more than five minutes every day
In every way that I remember you.
Name of Image

Name of Image
Name of Image If I had 5 more minutesIf I had 5 more minutes,
They wouldn't be enough
To tell you just how much
I love you.
If I had 5 more minutes,
Would they be enough
To tell you just how much
I need you?
If I had 5 more minutes,
Before you were too sick,
Before they were to much,
I'd be with you.
If I had 5 more minutes
To spend with you,
You would make me laugh
Like you used to.
If I had 5 more minutes
To stay at your bedside,
They would be too much
To endure.
If I had 5 more minutes
With the sick man instead
Of who you used to be,
I would cry.
If I had 5 more minutes,
They wouldn't be enough,
They would be too much.
But I want them.
If I had 5 more minutes
Back when I last saw you
Nothing would be different,
I'd waste them.
But if I could have 5 minutes
With you right here and now,
Maybe then I could finally bid
Farewell to you.
Name of Image

Name of Image
Name of Image Five MinutesHe said he would give me
five minutes
to say my peace.
I practiced
trying not to cry.
I was ready to say,
"I love you.
You are wonderful.
I think about you every day.
You make me so happy.
I want to be with you."
I had already said
all of that
in online notes
to him
over almost two years.
I really wanted to say,
"Why didn't you think
enough of me
to tell me why
you disappeared?
Why did you keep
in touch with me
by sending
one sentence messages
every holiday,
and never replying?
What is wrong with you?!"
It doesn't matter anyway.
He never showed up.
Name of Image

Name of Image

Name of Image
Name of Image Your Lost Lover  Good morning lover,
  I know you an I are far,
  But distant sents
  Wake me from deep slumber.
  Goodbye lover,
  You must leave
  My hollow grasp,
  And find your own way;
  Without me.
  Goodnight lover,
  I whisper silently
  To myself on lonesome nights,
  I've sent you away
  And I regret it.
  Until next we meet
  You shall live in my memories
  And there we can be happy.
  I say this as I fall
  once more...
     Yours truly,
           Your Lost Lover
Name of Image

Congratulations to you all.


Name of Image
Logo designed by 007Balel

:bulletgreen: = active
:bulletyellow: = away for reasons known
:bulletred: = away for reasons unknown

Oh Captain, Your Captain
Simply Human

:bulletgreen: :iconmagicaljoey:MagicalJoey
[Available for critiques - just ask]

The Earls of Structure

The Knights of Poetic Devices

:bulletgreen: :icondarlingangel0565: DarlingAngel0565

:bulletgreen: :icondiluculi: Diluculi



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Check them out.
:iconkakikotoba: Kakikotoba Let's write, yeah? :iconlit-visual-alliance: Lit-Visual-Alliance Encouraging Artistic Cooperation :iconindependent-writer: independent-writer Imagination heals the soul. :iconlooselacespoetry: LooseLacesPoetry Poetry Feeds Our Souls :iconcreativity-knocks: Creativity-Knocks


Add a Comment:
free-your-soul Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
how are you all doing? wow, its been a long since ive last been here, ive been so busy.
I just wanted to say hey, and Im just passing by cause today, as you might all know, Nelson Mandela died..and I remember that my very first piece of writing was about him, in 2010, and I came here to read it again today, and I found a comment from MagicalJoey explaining me the difference between poetry and prose..I guess the first things I learnt about literature were here... and I loved to participate in all these contests and things..but now I dont have so much time.. so much has changed since i created my account, including the way i write. but well they were my beginnings, still improving my english though! hope you remember me. 
well i hope yall doing fine
ill try to pass by more often
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013   Writer
Nice to see you are still around. Hope that you are well and, yes, it is sad the Nelson Mandela died as he was an iconic figure.
prettyflour Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey there!

Prettyflour here on behalf of :iconpoets-and-warriors:

We are having a contest and are reaching out to our affiliates in hopes that you can help us with contest prizes. We were wondering if you'd be interested/willing to do a feature for the winners?

You can find the details of our contest here:  poets-and-warriors.deviantart.…

We can us all the help we can get!  Anything you could do would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you and have a great night.

moonlitinuyasha1985 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013
Do you guys take fanfiction?:|
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013   Writer
Unfortunately not. Try #Ordinary-Writing for prose, but poetry I don't know.
moonlitinuyasha1985 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013
Hidden by Owner
NearlyInvisibleMind Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It is wonderful here. Thank you :rose:
NearlyInvisibleMind Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you :)
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